Two days ago, one of my dearest and best friends shared her top ten list of reasons why she may need to be committed. Number seven was particularly humorous, in which she describes the turmoil she suffers in purchasing a bra because her breasts or "jugs" are too large. Too large? Damn...don't I wish. I love you darling, but I am immensely jealous of your gorgeous, voluptuousness bosom.
A few years ago, I was a size 4. Yes, this was after the boys were born. I was a runner; I was a soccer player; I was a fanatical eater that drove myself mad trying to keep that body. But damn it was nice being skinny. And despite being so small (I'm also only 5'4"...on a good day), I still had curves. Even with the curves, however, I still only had B-cup boobs. But when you're a size 4, a nice B isn't so bad.
Fast-forward five years. I'm no longer a size 4. I still have an hour-glass shape, but I'm more like a size 10 now (okay...sometimes a 12). One would think that one advantage to now being a size 10 should be that my breasts would have plumped up along with the rest of my body. One would think that. And one would be wrong. WTF? So I have size 4 tits on a size 10 body. But I'm not bitter. Thanks to modern technology, the brassiere market is flooded with push-up, under-wire bras with more padding than a twin mattress. And for $40, you can give yourself a new bust line that any small breasted woman would be envious of.
And so we come full circle. Its girls night, and I'll be stepping out on the town with my two closest, large-breasted friends. Yes...I'm a little jealous and a lot self conscious of my small boobs when I'm with these gorgeous girls. So, to Macy's I go. I walk straight to the lingerie section and ask for a padded push-up that will really put the girls out there. The gal at the counter says, "Have you heard of the bra that pushes you up and out AND adds TWO CUP SIZES?" What? Two cup sizes? Hot Damn! That is a little boobed girl's dream come true. Sign me up. I put it on. HOLY SHIT! It worked! I have big boobs! I almost did back flips. More accurately, I almost walked out of the dressing room into the the store to show them off. I was that excited. It doesn't matter that this bra has so much padding in it, I can touch the cups and never feel anything on my skin. No pressure, no contact. Nothing. It would save my life should a soft landing ever be necessary. I'll take it!
Little did I know, there is a lot more to having big hooters than just seeing the way the opposite sex looks at your cleavage. To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment